Tag Archives: change

Project You  This is probably the most difficult life lesson to learn but the most necessary. The pressures and stresses of life this summer have allowed me the opportunity to look myself in the eyes. This summer I’ve questioned so many things and have also made some life changing decisions. I’ve reminisced about my past and agonized over some of my hurts and at the same time proudly celebrated my greatest triumphs thus far. I’ve fought with my inner self to the point of exhaustion and then just felt like completely walking away from the whole project of me.

It is so easy to lose myself in the world’s definition of success, beauty, & happiness. It’s easy to start striving for standards that are not my own just to feel accepted, loved, validated….to feel like I belong somewhere. As I chat with ladies of all ages I’m discovering the struggle is the same and no matter the season of life, fighting for your self-worth is a lifestyle. It starts with loving yourself first and treating yourself the way that you want to be treated, knowing that your value doesn’t change because of someone’s inability to see your worth.

I’m a person that just wants to love everyone but sometimes I do it at the expense of myself all in the name of helping and loving someone. I’ve taken the long road to learn that lesson in my past and know now that loving and giving to my breaking point is not love. It doesn’t help anyone for me to destroy myself in the process.

Remember that taking care of yourself enables you to be a better provider to those around you.

It’s not healthy and I’ve learned that a healthy life is a happy one. That is easier said than done especially when it comes to relationships, because relationships are just plain messy. We’re human and it takes a lot of patience, grace, and maturity to navigate through the ups and downs of miscommunication, hurt feelings, and all the randomness that can spark a conflict. A part of taking care of yourself means to have the courage to be honest with yourself about the relationships that are draining your life instead of being life giving. In the long run by deciding to cut ties in those relationships will be the best decisions that you’ve ever made for yourself. You deserve to be happy and healthy and setting boundaries to take care of you is always the right decision.

It doesn’t matter where you’ve been or where you are now, all that matters that you have the power to choose to start loving and taking care of yourself today. This moment, this life is yours and you can change. Don’t be so hard on yourself. I always have to remind myself that imperfect progress is still progress. I still make mistakes and still fall victim to my insecurities some days but none of those things change that fact that I’m worth the fight. Taking care of myself has made me a stronger woman and given me the opportunity to give and love others in ways that I never thought possible. So it’s ok, take some time for yourself. Do something that you love, take a quiet walk, read a book, take a nap, wander around an art museum…celebrate you! You’ll be better for it. You’re uniquely you and that’s always worth celebrating! Have fun and enjoy!

God Bless,

Shine

 

Project: Me

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Not My Memo

There it was just laying out in the open in plain view on the floor in the women’s restroom, a folded up piece of paper. My curiosity instructed me to pick it up and unfold it, It was a page torn from a small memo pad barely big enough for a shopping list but the few words on this small page cried out for answers.

The author had made a case on this small torn out page for her life like a claim had been made against her and this was her chance for a rebuttal.

“I could’ve been a doctor, a lawyer…or finished my business degree. I could’ve been a teacher… There is a lot of could haves but were there any “should haves”?

Wow. That’s a good question…I’m just been thrust into deep thought about my life decisions. I let the thought process roll over me like a strong wave and just let it run it’s course.

Who was this woman and does she need this memo back? Is she a psych major that’s just pondering deep thoughts of life for an assignment or is she in a life crisis trying to find herself? As I walk down the hallway I can’t help but notice all the woman that pass, I’m carefully studying their facial features to see if there is anything that might identify the author I’m searching for.

But nothing stands out.

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You’re free to THINK as you please.

It’s amazing how adaptable we are as humans. If we open our minds to the possibilities and opportunities then really anything is possible. But when we focus on the limitations or possible failures, the “what ifs”, or “last times” we seriously rob ourselves of experiencing the amazing moments or people that could have changed our lives. I had this epiphany while I was at my dance lesson for Zouk tonight. I’ve been doing West Coast Swing for the past year and a half and I love it. But tonight the characteristics of West Coast Swing were holding me back from being a free flowing Zouk dancer. Zouk is even more free flowing and organic than West Coast Swing. The moves are limitless but only if I was open to them. At first I was struggling, trying to keep beat and remember where my feet where supposed to be but it was because I was applying all the rules of West Coast Swing to Zouk. It just wasn’t working, it was actually pretty funny to watch. When I stopped thinking of what was familiar to me (let go of my West Coast Swing mindset) I was able to dance more fluidly. I became open to the Zouk movements and it all started to make sense and I finally felt like I was dancing! So exciting!! In life we do this to ourselves, limit the awesomeness that could be had because of fear, insecurity, or just being too comfortable in what we find familiar. We were meant to thrive daily but our mind sets limit us because we allow it.

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right. -Henry Ford

It matters what you think on. It affects your day today, tomorrow, and in the grand scheme of things, it can affect the trajectory of your entire future. It’s that deep. Makes me think twice about my attitude day to day. If I can make tremendous progress in an hour dance lesson, how much more growth could I achieve if I applied that principle to my life. Yes I agree easier said than done because life in general is one hot mess sometimes. But there is hope that change is possible for everyone.

You’re free to think as you please but what ARE you thinking about?

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